So, it's Mother's Day. That one day a year when you unwrap things that have to be explained to you. That one day a year when suddenly the small people in your house remember that they indeed were not raised thus far by a pack of wolves. That one day a year when most undoubtedly as a mother, you aren't doing much of anything you'd actually "like" to do and merely saying thank you for all of the above. Except the raised by wolves part, that is pretty much every day of my life, but it's a cautionary tale of motherhood, the likes of which are not for the faint of heart and the moment you see the first reason you became a mother, you know your life will never be the same.
I was given my first Mother's Day gift this morning at 6:25 a.m. while buying doughnuts at the convenience store with Atticus. After picking out every sprinkle covered doughnut we could find, we went to pay, and it seems be paid with less than a compliment. The cashier said, “Is Grandma getting you all the sprinkled doughnuts today?" UMMMM, WHAT? I was quick to say, "...well, happy Mother's Day to me!" As we were walking away Atticus said, "Grandma? What?" My thoughts exactly, pal.
The fact that Mother's Day coincides with commencement weekend at the school where I work and all of the kids' end of the school year festivities, I almost want to say can we put a pin in this and forget about it entirely? Is it wrong that I am too tired to be happy that I am a mother? I love my children, but let's face it, this time of year you are looking for whoever slipped them Jolt Cola when you weren't looking. I fight the urge to yell, CALM DOWN about every 20 minutes to them. I realize that is an oxymoron. It got me thinking about how I could make this day easier.
The phrase that my best friend and I like to coin when necessary, "it's not better or worse, it's just different," comes to mind. This year I wanted to cut a few of my reasons for motherhood off at the pass. I wasn't asking for a grandiose display of motherhood, nothing overly planned or expensive. This year for Mother's Day, I was merely telling what I didn't want. The list isn't long, but poignant and simple...or so I thought.
I don't want:
*breakfast in bed...coffee in bed...no food or drink in bed-I hope I made the point.
*nothing done that I would normally do myself-no cooking, rearranging, or home maintenance (lawn mowing and babysitting excluded).
I do want:
*respect-for myself and others
*love-love shown to each other, kind words
*no arguing with me about anything and no arguing with anyone else (yeah, I know, dare to dream)
Will any of these things happen? Will any of these non-gift items be bestowed? Will I get to just sit on my porch in tranquility, peace and quiet? These are all great questions that frankly I'm too scared to answer. I had my tiniest titan fall asleep on my side early, and laughed my butt off with the rest of my kids while curled up on the couch this evening. I wore my kids out today/tonight in the smallest of hopes that perhaps, just perhaps they'd sleep past 6:15 a.m. tomorrow morning...I'm a simple girl.
For me, it's simple. In fact it's so simple and clearly something I've said enough because I heard Atticus say it the other day, "every day is Mother's Day." It's nothing about fiction and all about facts...The fact that I get to watch these once-so-small-people grow into these totally individual beings is mind-blowing. The fact that I get to be the reason they are in this world telling a joke and totally nailing the punchline. The fact that I get to be the last person they speak to at night and the first person they speak to in the morning...at times WAY earlier than I'd like. The fact that with every mental choke hold they put me into, I know that I get to say with pride, that's my kid...and he's peeing into the street.
