Speaking in code...we all do it. Whether it be 'code' as to how you feel. Whether it be talking in 'code' to your kids to make your life easier. Or lastly, understanding when 'code' is no longer necessary, worthy, or going to cut it anymore...that's where I've been residing.
For me, the codes have become more blatant. I no longer ask, "have you brushed your teeth" It's like asking someone if what you're wearing is flattering. The answer is always and at times a little too rushed, "YES". Now, the same question is "...did you brush your teeth TODAY", as someone will always point out that they did, yesterday. If only the codes of life were so easy to figure out. No one really wants to "know how you are feeling?" They want the light, airy response that will leave them feeling good about themselves for asking...this is true if you are feeling good or bad. So, you throw them some code and continue turning clothes right side out while throwing them in the wash.
Then there are the codes which all parents speak, when being asked on a semi regular basis about babies. Where do they come from? How do they get there? How do they come out? This is when code goes into HYPER DRIVE. There are reasons I do not wish to tell my kids about the proper names for body parts. That knowledge, that power, is spilled onto complete strangers with a vengeance from my overly verbal children. So, let's spare them the anatomy lesson, and me my sanity. I am like a cheap towel when it comes to the above mentioned questions...I push off some other topic, tell them to ask a licensed physician, or point out a rainbow that is not actually there. For Nora, it usually works, though I'm not looking forward to her next doctor's appointment. I know my code has sufficed when the next thing out of her mouth is "...you know, I think riding a flying horse would probably be a lot of fun..." We're good...for now.
Code for the Talls? As long as I somehow throw in a fart joke, mention a fictional character, or a flesh eating bacteria, their question is thwarted. It's not that I want to lie to them, or with hold information...it's more about the fact that once they know they like to spread the word...even if a disclaimer was given. This is a small town. I've already been called by the school letting me know that one of the Talls was heard explaining a word I have never even used...and it wasn't altruistic. Boys will be boys as the old saying goes. That code conversation ended with if you don't know what you are talking about, you probably shouldn't be talking. I find it interesting to see how they throw code at some of the things Nora asks..I feel like a sensei.
For me personally, the codes are changing. There will always be days when life just isn't how it was envisioned when I was 25. But, looking back I had no idea what I wanted out of life at that age. In addition, I had no idea who I really was...what the hell did I know? About the time when you think you might have it all figured out, you either get taken out at the knees or you are reminded how great you actually have it and want to pay it forward. So you end the day reminded of sage lessons you have already been given, saying: Brush your teeth before you go into your bedroom tonight. Put on your pull up after you take your clothes off. About the time when you think you are going to seriously loose your shit if you hear the phrase "chicken nuggets/fries" uttered from a two year old AGAIN...you close his door to lay him in his crib and he looks at you and whispers "...I wuv you..." And with that, you're ready to tackle all the code tomorrow gives you...
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