...fist bump?...really?

I've said it before...and I'm saying it again. I love this little town I live in. It's small enough that you willingly wave to strangers. When you are sitting in your driveway, it's common for someone to pull up, park their car and stay a while. To some, living in a small town means everyone knows your business. To me, it just means a few more people looking out for us, even some I've never met...there's a silver lining there.

Last summer, I was sitting on the edge of the town pool...hoping to soak up some sunshine, watching my kids swim, and more importantly wear them out. There was a young mom sitting next to me. I knew we had met before, but of course my long term memory problem erased her name from my brain. We exchanged pleasantries. Then, she leaned over to me, and said, "...I don't know if you know this, but I'm a widow too..." She began to tell her story, and I sat there in awe. She was just 24 years old, with a nine month old and pregnant with another child when her husband unexpectedly passed away...

As she was telling her story, and answering my questions, I knew we had met for a bigger reason. I was in such shock of what she had been through, and how she really understood where I was more than most people...I did the most embarrassing thing...I fist bumped her. I ACTUALLY FIST BUMPED ANOTHER WIDOW?! What the hell was wrong with me? In that moment, I hope she understood that I had meant it with the utmost respect, and really with loyalty. At times, it's hard to put into words what being a widow is like...all grief is different, however some of the struggles people have in dealing is the same. Dealing with your grief and your children's grief is also a very individualized process. The fact is, we had something in common, that no one really WANTS to have in common with anyone...

Again, it's not an accident that we met. Today is the nine year anniversary of her husband's passing. Even though she's younger than I am, she will never know how much I look up to her. She is patient, understanding, kind, funny, a loving mother, a wonderful friend, and a very real human being. She has had to be a parent to her children, and continually remind her boys about their parent they've never met. She understands the ebb and flow of life, parenthood and grief that most parent's never have to...I've thought about you a lot today Sarah. And while I never got the chance to met him, Bleu would be so proud of the parent/woman/mother/friend you are today...love to you today and always.