Turning the corner into technology, and realizing I am better at making cookies than computers. Nothing makes one feel more out of their minds, out of touch or plain idiotic like trying to use a new computer. My very wonderful husband gifted me a new computer for Mother's Day. It is beautiful and compact, but I have cussed at Siri enough times, even she requested a cocktail. Onwards and upward, I will figure it out eventually hopefully developing a believable poker face before my kids get home from school.
With end of the school year is upon us, I am going to have to get creative with the next 3 months ahead of me. The aspiring students have already pretty much mentally checked out about 2 weeks ago. The field trips, music programs, large projects are now ardently visible in the rearview mirror...all except one more diorama (that is a swear word in this house). But the silence that I currently enjoy now will be only a memory in 11 days. Eleven days to get my game face ready, get some projects lined up and possibly stock the liquor cabinet in hopes I am not backed into a corner.
There is a growing need to move around some subliminal corners and face some new views on life. A high schooler and junior high schooler will be in my midst this summer, some things in life are going to change hopefully for the better. I am constantly told that I, "...don't allow my kids to grow up." This summer is going to test that theory, optimistically without being seen throwing electronics out in the street. I have a list of exciting things I need to workshop around with this crew. We are going to get active or at least be actively trying to do more and couch potato less with our butts and our brains. We might master some cooking skills and learn a language just for starters. I am contemplating making a fake chore chart and daily schedule, so that when my real plan is unveiled it will appear epic. The only way to con a con man is with a con? Possibly, but I am not taking any chances.
Only Nora is playing sports this summer and she's pretty excited about it. She volunteered to be the catcher at the first softball practice, admitting later when she raised her hand she didn't know what was the catcher. She is the tallest one on the team and actually listens to the coaches, thankfully. I look forward to seeing how it all plays out on the field, her personality and her ability. I feel like I talk about her a lot, but I think it is because I wish I was more like her in ways. She goes at every new experience full on thinking, "Well, I'm probably an expert in this so it will be fun..." She never lacks in confidence and frankly has life more figured out than most. She doesn't have corners in her world, just wide open spaces.
I was having a conversation with Oscar, talking about going into high school. He was explaining his schedule and the different things he would need to do. I asked him if he was nervous and he said a little went on to explain why. There is nothing quite like hearing your child understand and recognize lessons they have learned on their own from their past, from their own mistakes or missed opportunities. In this moment I wanted to look around and ask, "Who else heard that?" I was the only one there, but I felt like a corner was turned and unknowingly a Mother's Day gift was given.
Since I started writing this blog, my life has completely changed in so many ways. My characters (i.e. my kids) have altogether changed their character motivation. Despite the fact they don't believe me, I am ecstatic to watch them grow and change into the people they were meant to be. I feel like through this blog I had a lot more to learn about myself. It is very easy to hide behind telling stories about my kids, the hard stuff to write is about myself. But some where through this, I started to say, "Yes". Turning a corner and saying yes to life, to happiness, to admitting struggles, and to believing in myself. I feel like life opens up in a way you not only need but deserve, you just have to say yes.
So, my pretty corner of delirium is has been rebuilt, redecorated and faded away making the way for new lessons and chapters in life. Usually six steps forward only to take two steps back at times, but any lesson worth learning is one that doesn't come easy. For now, this is where I leave you. Maybe the next time we meet I'll be speaking French flambéing something or making some kick ass curry and naan. At any rate, it is time to get out of the corner, see what life has and say yes.
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