I envy these moms. First of all they have it together enough
to want to go to multiple ball games in a week, clearly, they have enough
underwear that they don't do laundry as often as I do. They get into the game,
they know the right things to cheer and they sit on the hot/cold/rainy/bug
infested evenings in a bag chair, just to watch their child play a sport. I sat
there the last couple of weeks, twice a week, trying to learn. Trying to watch
and listen. Trying to hone some competitive instinct in me. It was probably the
quietest I've ever been.
And in those weeks, I realized, I've got nothing. I haven't
a competitive bone in my body. I wanted to try, for the sake of Oscar, to get
into the games, but at the end of a game I was like, "well, you did your
best..." Clearly, not the best sports-pep-talker. I am proud that he tried
something new, even though his teammates were seasoned ball players, and took a
lot of guts. Every game, when he would walk out on the field, it was like
watching "Rudy" Ruettiger walk out onto the field- different sport,
but same premise. The notion of wanting to do something enough to not care that
you were new or inexperienced. Some might think it’s foolish, I thought it took
moxie.
But, moxie wears thin at times, as eventually, I saw myself.
There he was standing on the field, and not a competitive bone in his body.
Things sort of started to shift. Being compared to people your age, in an area
that is completely out of your wheelhouse, is difficult, let alone not a whole
lot of fun. This sort of comparativeness, while I know goes on for the rest of
a person's life, after a while stings. Watching my boy, who has never really
played sports outside of the side yard before, at times was painful. He just
looked as if he was thinking, "let's just get this over with." And
near the end, I can't say I blamed him.
Then a wonderful thing happened. One of these inspiring, afore mentioned moms congratulated him. She told him that despite the fact he was new at this whole thing, he did a great job and he should be proud of himself for giving it a try. Considering my lack of sports knowledge, and even though I had said the same thing to him, it was like getting a compliment from Babe Ruth himself...and I was so very grateful!
Then a wonderful thing happened. One of these inspiring, afore mentioned moms congratulated him. She told him that despite the fact he was new at this whole thing, he did a great job and he should be proud of himself for giving it a try. Considering my lack of sports knowledge, and even though I had said the same thing to him, it was like getting a compliment from Babe Ruth himself...and I was so very grateful!
But, through it all, I think he we learned a few valuable
lessons. The one lesson, that was inevitable as he was bound to learn it in
puberty, is comparing yourself to others is dangerous. Noticing all of your
inadequacies rips at you from the core. As I sat there, watching him do his
best, I thought, "I wonder if any of these boys are good at drawing?"
I had to chuckle to myself, as it didn't matter. There's no competitive cartoon
artists, or book illustrators, or authors for that matter. They find their
drive someplace different within them, and there is no competition. The
creative side of life is his stolen base or home run...and clearly, I hope he
at least learned more baseball terms than I currently know.
Great blog post Kate...hard to read as we moms all identify with you. Kudos to Oscar....this experience has helped him mature and rounded out his interests. He is a gifted artist and I see a great future for him as a special man ...love and respected by all!!! Love to all! xxoo
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