Who is Gladys?

Life only gives you what you can handle...right? There are times when I think life is trying hard to get you to notice something, and you're missing it. As if capable of giving you a wedgie to get your attention. Instead life puts all these other subtle reminders up, hoping that at some point your ignorant a*^ will wake the hell up and take notice.

For me, I notice only the obvious things. I notice through my flaws. I notice through my failed attempts. If that doesn't work, it comes in the form of a question from my kids. This week, I've pretty much nailed all of the above...but what is it telling me?

The topics of discussion here have been interesting in the last two weeks to say the least. We've tackled bullying and how to stop it happening to you. Now, I'd like to say it all played out like an after school special? But I believe the direct quote I got was, "...um, no offence Mom, but things work differently now than they did in the 80's..." Um? Burn? But the discussion was lively and made me see that I'm raising some what self sufficient kids when it came to the topic. 80's? Really?

Next topic was poverty. Are we poor? I've been asked this before. Usually I give my standard answer of, "...we have each other, we are richer than money could ever make us..." But, the older kids get, the more they need to understand the value of a dollar, and also that I'm not growing money, like someone might grow cannabis in their basement. I answered this question maybe a bit too honest. But I explained that times were tough everywhere. The people who are undoubtedly "RICH" were actually few and far between. We are on a strict budget, and that's why some things people do all the time are a 'treat' to us. Life has to have moderation, otherwise noting is ever truly appreciated.

Cut to me, opening the church bulletin this Sunday at lunch. I scan it, reading the on-goings. To see that the parishioner the church is praying for this week...is me. I read it out to the kids, clearly not masking the surprise in my voice. Hilariously, even they were questioning it. Nora kept saying, "...we need to head over there and see what this is all about..." I'm taking that as a sign. However, it did scan my brain to wonder if I had indeed always worn my underwear UNDER my clothes. There was of course, the day-glow-bra incident...

Then this morning, as I was sorting out the dungeon-like Talls room, I missed a phone call from Gladys. Who is Gladys? Well, I didn't know her either. She called and left a message from "Women in Need", and would I please call her back at my earliest convenience. My first though was, what? Need? Yeah, I need a nanny and some booze. Couldn't be that easy, could it? Well, once I got a hold of Gladys, I told her who I was. She mentioned that she thought maybe her assistant wrote the number down wrong. I asked what it was her organization did. She said they assist victims of spousal abuse. Now, laughing out loud to this probably isn't something that Gladys usually hears, but seriously? I assured her that I was not in need of her organization...

Not sure I want to know what these signs all add up to mean. Was it a life altering alert? Or just a subtle nudge to remind me that the world is still turning and we're still on it? I'll be looking up for anvils and mindful for stepping over cracks for a while.

...Sundays and a DAY GLO bra...

...I know someday...Someday, I will enjoy a leisurely Sunday...I haven't really seen one in 9 years. There are those foreign moments...those times when I catch myself, sitting doing nothing on a Sunday, only to have to get up and get someone a Kleenex and then do more laundry.

Going to church is like an Olympic event. I feel as though if I make it through the whole thing, and we are all still alive, with a furrowed but moistened brow from fighting a FREAKISHLY strong two year old for an hour...I await the interview from the commentator at the door....

 "So, Kate...How do you think you did? There was a time during the Lord's Prayer when it looked like it was all going to fall apart..."

                "...Well Frank... I'm not going to lie...I ran out of animal crackers at a crucial point of play and to say it was touch and go...well, I'm just glad I finished....See you next week..." -end scene.

 

Today...it was no exception. I love the town we live in, it has all the best a small town has to offer. The only thing I miss is being a little anonymous. You're late to church, you miss church, your kids like to pick out a wedgie at church...it's all being seen. If you go to mass at another church, you better tell one woman there, as she will remind you every time she sees you that you were clearly missing...up note that I have to remind myself, at least someone even cares.

 

Today, I felt like I had all my ducks in a row. Snacks, drinks, Kleenex, toys, pacifiers, I had it...except the church envelope. For some reason, when my kids get into church, it's as if they forget HOW to take off their coats. They just sit down and look at me...with my duffel bag of tricks and a howler monkey two year old on my hip, I shoot them a look of, okay, what do you think you do next? Everyone adapted, an early request for a snack denied and quickly discussed that underwear were not a topic for church conversation. Interestingly enough, I no more say that, than I'm taking off my coat, and my sweater and shirt get statically STUCK. As I'm taking off my coat, half of my clothes come off of one arm, and boom all of the right side of church gets to see my DAY GLOW bra...classy...may have to start sitting in the back of church.

 

But, the strangest thing happened today...I was given my leisure. I wrestled the howler monkey into submission and before I knew it...for the first time...he fell asleep, snoring and clutching a plastic dinosaur. I actually heard what was being said and actively participated. It was appreciated, thank you so much who ever had a hand in it. Afterward, this kind gentleman who sits behind us put his arm around me and told my how well behaved my kids were. I thanked him, shot him a wink, and assured him that I hadn't drugged any of them...today.