Here I am. I'd like to say I know more about life than I did 10 months ago, but frankly I don't. I've learned to appreciate how very precious, fleeting, and slightly unforgiving time can be. I've learned that there are things in this world you have to face, regardless if you want to. I've learned there are times when you have to put yourself so far back on the priority list that it reads in fine print. I've learned I would be nothing without my kids, and grateful for every hair on their heads. I've learned that you might think you have the world by the berries, and then you have a bat-in-the-toilet-kind-of-day...
I'd like to say that this is a made up scenario, some crazy urban legend sort of saying...but this is me we are talking about. My wanderlust for vermin is legendary, however, finding a bat in the toilet (thankfully dead) really throws off even the most perfect of days. Even as I was trying to calm myself down, I kept trying to remind myself that some sort of divine intervention occurred on 815 Washington during the last week. Can you even imagine me trying to trap a bat in THUNDER DOME? Hoping, praying, chanting a mantra, that it will be our last such visitor...but I'm leaving the toilet seat up, just in case...
"Make good choices!!", what Nora and I lovingly say to the boys when they are headed off for school, of course to their eye rolls. But the other day it got me thinking...that phrase packs a punch! I sat and contemplated my daily life, those three words mean a lot, but when I apply them to my own life, can add a little pressure. I'm not going to lie, I live in a bubble. I purposely try not to think of things too far into the future, I'm like a little kid at times. Maybe it's because I know I have no control. Maybe it's because I know it won't do any good. Maybe it's because it's just too scary. The day to day of house hold, four kids, living I can handle. The money matters? Well, let's just say, my Monopoly board game skills REAK...making a mistake concerning finances. Beyond any other fear I may jockey in my life, this is the one that is flashing neon, and is painted in sparkly paint. As time marches on, this is what I'm most scared of...here is where I'm worried I will make a bad choice...So, I step back into my bubble, make sure all lose ends are tied, file it in the further depths of my mind and tell myself, "...you'll figure it out".
We had 24 hours of family fun starting last night with pizza, a movie, junk food, Christmas pajamas, plugging in our ever present Christmas tree and finally bed. Saturday morning chores were still greeted with grunts, arguing, and unnecessary debating about job duty. GOOD LORD, JUST VACCUM UP THE MESS YOU MADE LAST NIGHT, I would never ask them to do something they weren't capable of...end rant. We had the ice cream we had been looking forward to. I swear, it must taste better outside of our house. Nora, however, was disappointed that there were strawberries in her strawberry ice cream. Yup, she's unique. We ended the day having a cook out and a lot of laughs with some new friends.
As the months pass by us, we aren't needing the big productions that we had in the beginning. I hope it's because we have found our strength from each other, and try to celebrate that in some small way everyday. I may play it off like they are a handful, but without my children...I would be nothing. I wouldn't have funny stories. I wouldn't have the support group that I have in them. I wouldn't be able to see life as I see it. They are a big part of what has gotten me through the last 10 months, and I'm so lucky to call myself their Mom...
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